Tears

"I'm on a diet of tears - tears for breakfast, tears for supper. All day long people knock at my door, pestering, 'Where is this God of yours?'"
Psalm 42:1

Life isn't always smooth sailing.

Life isn't always great, even for me.

Sometimes, life pretty much stinks.

Yesterday was one of those times.

Our family has really been praying hard for Lily to go to a specific special needs school in Austin that concentrates on speech therapy. We had explored options and decided that this was the place for her at this point. A three day test-run (so to speak) was scheduled, and yesterday - day two - the powers that be told us that while they loved Lily and had fallen in love with her, they had not accepted her into the school.

It was a serious blow.

It was a day full of tears for our family. We were truly crushed; extremely disappointed.

My youth pastor talked this past Sunday about how the Word of God is a lamp to our feet - it's not going to show us the whole path, but it will show us the next step.

I turned to Psalms right away, because I so relate to David's raw honesty. He cries out to God often, asking Him where He's gone, and why He's done certain things. I could relate to that. I felt like God had let me down when it counted!

So what's the next step?

Every time David cries out and rages, no matter how angry or sad he is, he makes sure to end by saying, "I still love you, God. You are still great." He ends by praising Him. Praise is the next step.

Well, I don't really feel like doing that right now, God.

But I did. I dragged back out the prayer notebook I had just put away, filled with questions and bitterness, and started writing again. I told God why I still loved Him, why I would still trust Him, why I was still believing Him.

And you know what?

It helped.

I just started praying through the Psalms. It was comforting. When I woke up in a funk, I grabbed my Bible and flipped to them again. It was my lifeline.

And you know what?

I'm okay.

I really am. We're all going to be okay.

Tears don't last forever, but God's promises and sovereignty do. And I am forever and a day thankful for that.